495 Magazine
June 25, 2004
What was your first break?
My favorite skateboarding magazine, Big Brother (published by Larry Flynt), came to my town with a bunch of pro skaters in 1997. I've never been all that great at skateboarding, but I had made it my mission in life to get my stunts into that magazine. I tracked them down and had them film/photograph a stunt that went horribly wrong. My big break was burning the skin off half of my face for big brother magazine.
What was the worst job you ever had?
I've been fired from so many "regular jobs" it's ridiculous. Who cares, all those jobs fucking sucked anyway. I guess cleaning the meat room in a supermarket was pretty bad. If you asked my family, they'd probably say that the worst job I've done was getting paid to have experimental drugs tested on me by the government.
Tell us something most people don't know about you.
In 1994, I was paid two thousand dollars to be overdosed with experimental drugs intended for pigs and cows. It was pretty creepy, I had to give blood fourteen times in one day and the drug was really pretty dangerous-- they gave it to us until one of our resting heart rates exceeded 150 beats per minute. I have no idea if the drug was ever made legal, but if it was, don't worry, for eating pork and beef you won't be ingesting nearly as much of it as I did.
What has been your finest moment so far?
The India episode of Wildboyz season two was pretty good, but holy shit, wait until you see the Louisiana episode in season three.
Ever bumped around with Johnny Law? If so explain.
Are you kidding me? I have my own series of platinum-selling dvd's that chronicle my illegal activies and arrests. I get arrested for a living, dude.
If you could be anywhere right now, where would it be?
Lately, well, for a few years now, I've been constantly travelling the world. The travelling isn't going to slow down at all either. I'm looking forward to going to Russia, holy shit are we going to go nuts there.
High school stereotype you fit in with? (If you're planning to say "I didn't really fit in with any", just put "artistic", it's the same thing).
I was a skateboarder in high school, at a time when there was nothing cool whatsoever about being a skateboarder. It's funny, kids today are generally pretty cool for carrying around skateboards, but I was more of an outcast because of it.
If you didn't get your break, where would you be now?
I'd have made a break happen no matter what and I'd be doing exactly the same thing. Had it not happened so conveniently, I'd surely have been forced to work as a circus clown for a much longer time.
How do you feel about bidets?
Those are the things that shoot water on your pooper, right? They're cool. Not nearly as cool as the fucked up toilets they have in Japan though.
What's your quirkiest personal trait?
Probably the fact that I'm absolutely terrified of roller coasters.
If you were on death row, what would your final meal be?
A case of "pickled onion" flavor "Monster Munch" (they only have it in England).
What's your vice?
Haha, it's hysterical that you ask that as if I only have one.
If you could have a romance with a fictional character, who would it be?
There's nothing fictional about Barbara Eden from I Dream Of Jeannie in the 1960's, if I could just make it back to the 1960's to hang with her then, I'd probably be the most romantic guy in the world.
What's the last thing you stole?
A pillow from Jay Leno's couch when I was on the Tonight Show on NBC.
Which member of the A-Team can you most relate to?
That would be Murdock. With that question, I feel like you're picking on me for being old, I'm not supposed to talk about it in interviews, but I just turned 30.
Favorite dance move?
Chris Pontius recently spent weeks working on a dance routine to perform on stage as part of my "Don't Try This At Home Tour", every move in that routine is fucking amazing.
Who is your arch nemesis?
I've yet to meet someone that backs my position on this, but I'd say Rick Rubin, for ruining Slayer.
Describe your relationship with the mirror?
Every once in a while I think I look pretty hot.
Do you have an "eccentric" family member? If so explain?
Nobody in my family is "eccentric", we're all a bunch of stiffs.
Pick one word to best describe yourself.
Necrophobic.
