Tongue Magazine Interview
December 12, 2002
Steve-O:
Hey guys. This, to me, is fuckin hysterical. My publicist lined up an e-mail Q & A for a column in Gene Simmons' Tongue magazine. What's so amazing is that my answers will actually make it to print in his magazine (because the columnist has full editorial control of the column). I enjoyed the shit out of this:
Questions for Steve-O:
What makes hot sex hot?
Well, this one time I was at the Viper Room in West Hollywood to see my favorite '80s metal cover band (Metal Skool). These guys are amazing, they really just shoot from the hip. Anyways, Gene Simmons was there and the band invited him up on stage to join in the cover of a KISS tune. The way Gene Simmons declined this invitation..shit, if it wasn't so appalling, I probably wouldn't have even been entertained by it. Gene Simmons turns them down by reaching his hand up in the air and rubbing his fingers together in a overwhelmingly distinct "where's my money" gesture. I'll tell you what makes hot sex hot, anything that doesn't involve that fuckin asshole Gene Simmons.
What do you look for in a woman?
Let me tell you something about celebrities, some of them have things that they really make a big deal out of, for example, Ted Nugent just won't stop going on about firearms. When it comes to Gene Simmons, it's bragging about how many groupies he's slept with over the years. And I'm not just talking about bragging, this idiot literally makes Wilt Chamberlain seem humble. So what do I look for in a woman, I'll tell you, I look for a woman who would wrap her mouth around Gene Simmons' dick and bite the fuckin thing off.
What's a dealbreaker for you in bed?
Funny you should ask. You see, way back when, the Eagles were a huge sensation and, like most super successful rock bands (especially KISS) their egos ruined everything. Those idiots grew to hate each other so much that they claimed, throughout the media, that it would require "Hell to freeze over" for them to re-unite as a band. The only thing I find more pitiful than those morons winding up broke and launching the Hell Freezes Over Tour is the way KISS' career as a group made torturing a dying horse seem compassionate.
What's the grossest thing you've done in bed?
Listen to KISS. Don't get me wrong, KISS would rule if that fuckin asshole Gene Simmons hadn't ever been involved. (If anybody feels like I don't like old Gene, talk to the members of Motley Crue about him....I have no opinion).
