A Miracle in a Wheelchair
December 23, 2002
After our show in St. Louis the other night, I got to talking to a quadraplegic in a wheelchair at a strip club. Within one minute I was so blown away by how good this guy's attitude was, I asked to interview him on camera. The point I wanted to get to is that this world is full of people with absolutely nothing physically wrong with them who manage to bitch, moan, be miserable and do nothing but contribute to the misery of others. They all stand to learn a lot from Joey (who, by the way, pointed out that he's fine because he can still drink beer and get drunk and his cock still gets hard). The interview was amazing and it ultimately culminated in a pack of strippers rubbing themselves all over him until I got the footage of the teepee in his pants and him smiling about it. Here's the correspondence between Joey and I since then, it means a lot to me:
Joey Avellone:
After my paralysis I always knew that I was gods gift to women. Because my dick will stay hard forever and since my hands don?t work so well ive learned to use my mouth and tongue really well. But apparently, women aren?t the only ones who want my cock. Thanks for slobbin? on my balls...now I know what you meant when you said your only friends if both parties are being benefited. I don?t really remember exactly what I said on tape so I?m looking forward to seeing the video so I can figure out just exactly what I said. Although, I know I didn?t say any bullshit, I always speak the truth, and I call it like I see it. I just got done watching your video, and it was pretty fucking wild. I just wish that I would have pulled my cock out of the condom and slapped some of those strippers around with it. I think that would have fit in with your style of video, and besides Stanly is a spectacle of his own. I know you guys are professional partiers, so I can?t believe that neither you nor your crew could out drink me. Hope I didn?t offend you or your crew in any way, thanks for the good times.
Steve-O:
Unbelievable, Joey, unbelievable how great it was to read that e-mail from you. Fuck yeah. I'm in Florida now with the family and my Dad just tried to give me a hard time for being anti-social on the computer, so I brought him over to read your e-mail and told him to leave me alone, because I needed a minute to write back to Joey about making the world a better place. I haven't looked at the video tape yet but, as you pointed out, I did a horrible job of partying as much as you and I can gaurantee that it was an incredible interview. I really don't know what to use it for, certainly for nothing without letting you know in advance. I sent my manager back to NYC with all of my shot tapes (the most important material things in my life) where they will be safe. At the earliest opportunity I'll dub a copy of your interview in it's entirety and send it to you. Get back to me with your address to send it to you and your preference for format (i..e. VHS, mini DV, maybe even DVD) and I'll try to be prompt as hell in getting it to you. I can tell you're not lying when you say that you don't talk a lot of shit, what we did was a good thing that benefited us both, probably even millions of others by the time we figure out what we want to do with it. Keep in touch on the computer and just stay the way you are, I'm proud as fuck to know you.
